12:25 p.m. (Reflective date)

“Wait, you’re still writing about these?”

Yes, yes, I am. The last recorded date happened in February. While I didn’t go to any predetermined locations in the following months, I did still make time for myself when possible. During March and April, I would sit at the mall food court and write for a couple of hours before work.

I knew April, and especially May, would be busy for me. Even as I filled out my calendar as usual, realistically, I knew there were many things that would be taking a backseat until June at the earliest. So I made plans for the creative gap I’d experience during that time and told myself when May was over I’d be allowed to indulge in more creative endeavors to make up for the two months.

Like one particular day in June. I stepped over to Madison Cafe as I waited for said library to open. I’ve been rotating through admin stuff for the blog, future post ideas, and writing whatever comes to mind, as well as focusing on specific projects. As I sat at the same divided study table wondering if I should write a few posts to make up for the lost months, I realized that I was finally finding a system that works for me. I was kinda grasping at the vision of what my ideal writing routine looked like for me when I sat at the mall day after day. For a long time, I wished I was the kind of writer who was good with habit or word trackers, to have some physical proof of my dedication and improvement. (You’d think after the first couple of half finished attempts I’d try something different.)

Nowadays, whenever I criticize my lack of writing, I actually have to remind myself I did write that day. I just failed to realize it in the moment because it doesn’t look like usual ideas of what “serious” writing is “supposed to look like.” And I’m more than fine with that. I love gathering up my scattered notes, my notebook (smaller than I want but somehow still perfect), and my assortment of colorful pens before heading home. At the end of the day, I’m content with where my writing journey is heading.

.chel